The Deadliness of Assumptions
by Darkness Flames
Summary: What happens when Tatsuha and Yuki hear two certain vocalists talking behind a door? Would they leap to accusations? Of course they will! find out what happens. [oneshot]


The Deadliness of Assumptions

By Darkness Flames

Ah yes, let's start our story inside NG Studios. It just so happens that a certain younger brother of the sexiest writer in all of Japan is walking through the halls of the same particular studio. Why you ask? To find his beloved of course! But alas, all searching has as of yet been futile….until he heard the voices of two certain singers behind a locked door.

"…Ano…Ryu-chan. I never tried this before…"

"Don't worry! It feels sooo good!"

Behold for it is none other than the voices of Shuichi and Ryuichi! Gasping, Tatsuha quickly listened closer. Positioning himself so his ear was pressed against the door he waited.

"Don't tell me you never tried this before!" Ryuichi spoke in shock.

"Well yea, but never like this!" A small blush spread across poor little Shuichi's face.

"Shu-chan is soooo missing out, right Kumagoro?"

This can't be happening thought Tatsuha. He wildest dreams are coming true! He could imagine it now….if only he could open this damn door. Soon a slight puddle of what was most likely the young boy's saliva formed. You can guess what is going on in this hormone driven teenager's mind. Ryuichi + Shuichi xXx. Well at least in Tatsuha's mind…and many other fan girls/boys.

"What the hell do you think you're doing standing there like an idiot?" Tatsuha quickly turned to find his blonde brother staring back at him in annoyance.

"Aniki! Come here! You have to listen to this!" Tatsuha exclaimed never taking his ear off the door.

"What? Let me guess. You're listening to Shuichi and Ryuichi screwing each other in the break room." His remark was dripping with sarcasm.

"……………"

"What?"

"Aniki, are you psychic?"

"WHAT? Move over!" Growling the not so happy ((like he's ever happy)) novelist pushed Tatsuha to the side so he was able to listen in as well.

"Waaah! It's so big!" Shuichi's voice cried out.

"Kumagoro tells you to just put it in your mouth! It tastes good, trust me!"

"But…but…" Shuichi whimpered slightly.

"Pleeeeaaasee?" You could just imagine Ryuichi pouting and staring at the pink hair Jpop singer with big watery eyes.

"Well...alright."

On the other side of the door Yuki's mouth was left agape. Could it be? Could his beloved Shu-chan really be cheating on him? Thoughts of utter betrayal raced through his mind. Meanwhile, the brother next to him is drooling so much we are in disbelief that no one has drowned yet.

"Shuichi wouldn't dare do this." Growled the novelist obviously pissed off.

"Oh but he is." Tatsuha said dreamily. That pervert.

"Shuttup!" With that he punched his dear brother in the face. But throughout the years of physical torture from his family that small punch did not phase the youngest of the Uesugi line. With no more words of argument the listened in once again.

A sudden clang was heard from a dropping object. Right after it came a small cry obviously belonging to the young singer of Bad Luck.

"It's dirty!" the pink haired boy exclaimed.

"Don't worry! It's okay!" Ryuichi said trying to assure his friend.

"I'm not putting it in my mouth no more!" Shuichi whined. A quiet "woot!" of victory was heard behind the door which sounded familiarly like a certain blonde…and we're not talking about K or Thoma.

"Pleeease, Shu-chan?" Ryuichi pleaded, "Kumagoro promise that it won't hurt you!"

"But how does Kumagoro know that?"

"Because Kumagoro tried it before silly!"

"Ewww!"

"It's not eeew! It's yummy!" small shuffling of footsteps is heard inside of the room.

"No! Don't come any closer! I won't do it!"

"C'mon! Once you tried it you'll love it!"

A loud bang was heard and smoke out of no where filled the room. Shuichi and Ryuichi stood dead still and slightly coughing, waiting for the smoke to clear. Finally the fumes deceased and the form of Yuki came into view. Seething he was the novelist; his feet standing upon the door.

"LET GO OF SHUICHI YOU FIEND!"

"Yuki!" Shuichi stared amazed. Shaking away the shock he ran towards and jumped onto the novelist.

Putting a protective arm over his lover he glared at the vocalist of Nittle Grasper, "How dare you try to take advantage of MY lover?"

"Nani?" the accused stared confused. But before he can speak another word a fan boy, who is half of Ryuichi's age might I add, jumped towards him.

"Ryuichi-sama I love youuuuuuuu!" Tatsuha screamed as loud as his petty little lungs aloud him to. Spreading his arms wide he attached himself to Ryuichi's leg like a periwinkle.

"You were trying to rape Shu!" Yuki yelled ignoring his brother.

"Yuki! Ryu-chan was doing no such thing!" Shuichi stared angrily and pouted at his lover.

"….what is rape?"

A still silence fell upon the room as Ryuichi eyed everyone questiongly. No one dare speak until….

"CRICKET CRICKET CRICKET CRICK-" the poor cricket who came out of no where and happily jumping across the room through the silence and under table now resided beneath Yuki's boot. Yuki taught him a lesson.

Breaking the silence once again Shuichi said, "See Yuki, how can Ryu-chan rape me if he doesn't even know what it means?"

"He still can!" the novelist growled. He noticed that he'd been growling quite a lot today. He doubts it's good for his health.

"But he wasn't!"

"Then explain what you two we're doing!"

"Yes, explain!" chirped Tatsuha who is happily cutting off the circulation to Ryuichi's leg. Death glaring his brother Yuki waited for his explanation.

"We we're eating ice cream!" Ryuichi piped up.

"…what?" the two Uesugi brother said simultaneously.

"Is that the best excuse to can make up?" Yuki said annoyed.

"It's the truth, Yuki!" Shuichi spoke, "See, there's the ice cream box over there!" He pointed towards a box semi squished by the door with light yellow fluid leaking out.

"But Shuichi said he never tried this before." Tatsuha said.

"Well, not cheese flavored ice cream I haven't."

Silence engulfed the room once again.

"Then explain why you we're complaining that "something" was too big?"

"Ryu-chan gave me a giant spoon of ice cream and I couldn't fit it in my mouth!"

"Ryu-chan is sorry!"

"It's alright!"

Growling yet again Yuki said, "What about the dirty part!"

"Shu-chan knocked the spoon on the floor!"

"And Ryu-chan wanted me to put it in my mouth but I said no because it was yucky! Seguchi-san should really get better help. The carpet is so dirty."

A moment of silence came as Yuki tried to absorb all the information. Suddenly he pointed at his brother and stared accusingly.

"It's all you're fault!"

"What did I do!" Tatsuha whined.

"If you didn't have such a nasty mind then we wouldn't have come to such conclusions!"

"And where do you think I got this nasty mind huh? From tou-san? Hah!"

"He has a point Yuki."

"Shut up brat!" Yuki yelled still furious. All was quiet yet again except for Yuki's rather loud breathing. Don't you just hate those damn awkward silences?

"Hey Yuki, did you really think I was going to cheat on you?"

"………"

"Yuki! Why can't you just trust me!"

"It's not my fault! Blame my idiot brother!"

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"AAH! Ryuichi-sama, what's wrong?"

"The ice cream is melting!"

--OWARI--

A/N: So what do you think? I haven't written a humor fic in awhile so it might not be that…humorous. Anywho, I must give credit to my friend Scotty who gave me the idea in the first place! Thank You Scotty! Well review! Oh yes, ignore the horrible grammar kay?


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